last night I went to a Polish girl’s birthday party with Tata, the theme was stripes, but neither of us wore stripes. we stood almost in one spot the whole night and let people come to us, which they did, and had meaningful eye contact every time PRBG walked past. I told the arrogant but harmless Spanish boy to stop swearing so much in English, without success, and helped Tata tell a million lies about her life, some of which people actually believed.
afterwards we went to la Luna which is the best bar here (though I lost Tata on the way and ended up alone there with a whole group of polacas). in the bathroom alone at one point with PRBG we, like, both fixed our faces at the same time in the mirror - which is weird, like, the slightly-more-femme-than-my-‘type’ thing. I was super happy when my Irish friend arrived and we ordered drinks and then PRBG was suddenly there, she had her arm around me, which was unprecedented, and she said they were leaving, come. I convinced them to stay longer and shared my drink with them, without realising that the polacas can drink. we went to another bar, and this time I lost my Irish friend on the way, so I was alone again and I was talking to her (you know who) and we were close and there was a moment, you know, oh god, and then the lights came on and it was ridiculous.
on the street PRBG and another polaca tried to teach me to swear in Polish and I said I only wanted to learn nice things so they taught me something else, which I can’t remember. next bar, lights off again, we danced (ie PRBG and I, kind of close, oh god how do I write this) and she went to the bathroom and idk, was that meant to mean something? because another polaca came up to me and said ‘—— says to go to the bathroom’ so I did and it was like a scene out of the fucking L Word, like what has my life come to. anyway I was drunk.
when everyone was walking home we walked kind of separate from the rest of them and talked and it was nice, she was cute. now she’s leaving, so this probably where this tag ends but like, look at that story arc, I wrote a lot of things and some things actually happened.
i made out with Polish red beanie girl
camgirls project in progress, 2013
[…] I was experimenting with different forms of what-is-not-romantic-love —- the celibate form, the insurrectionarily promiscuous form, the perverted and obstructionist form, the platonic form, the nostalgic and wounded form — and mostly what I experimented in was the deep form of friendship and found it in every way as grim and tortured and desirous and intense and political and intoxicating as the form of romantic love. I wept from the violences and disappointments of friendship like I used to weep from those of romantic love and thought some days of the Jackson Mac Low’s 13th Light Poem for Judith Malina with the line “The sweat pours from me for I haven’t slept & I hate the friends I love & fear / & light cd pour from me instead/if…”[…]
insurrectionarily promiscuous form
it really takes a lot for me to hate a girl and a lot more for me to like a dude